About ME

What I didn’t know when I left for college at 18 was that I was very unprepared and naïve about the world I was stepping into. I carried only what I knew which was very little about life, love, and the world outside of my 800 square foot home I was raised in. 

I quickly fell in love with someone that was VERY different from who I was, he did not care what others thought of him, or at least I thought at the time, and came across very confident. We became a couple and from the start I allowed him to say things to me that he shouldn’t have, but more importantly that I shouldn’t have allowed. I was very blind to what I thought was love. I failed out of school that year because I was too busy partying and drinking and wrapped up in my love affair, that school became secondary and didn’t get the attention it needed.

At 21 I became pregnant and was scared to pieces. Neither of us were prepared to be parents at such young ages. As the years passed and the kids got older, we both started being parents but not a couple. Drinking became the only pastime we both enjoyed and the only time we spent together, outside of the kids. Dinners out, quickly became nights of blurred vision, slurring words and passing out without dinner and without much conversation. We spent more time and attention on the people at the bar than we did each other. Eventually, the kids didn’t even keep us from our habit of going out night after night for “dinner” that became hours later and many drinks down. 

We both had lost complete respect for ourselves and the lives as we lived full of lying and drinking from one day to the next. In 2019, I was exhausted, bruised and lost to who I was anymore. I walked in shame and denial and not happy and knew I couldn’t keep on this path. But didn’t even know where to begin changing anything. Then one night changed the trajectory of my entire life.

I was beat to the ground defending my intoxicated husband. The next morning, I woke up covered in bruises and wanting to talk about it, while he acted like nothing happened and wanted to keep plans to go out on a friend’s boat. I asked him to pick those friends of his and that job or me. I knew at that point I was done, I had enough and would NEVER allow anyone to treat me like that again. He chose them and that is the day I decided I was leaving my marriage. 

What I didn’t know at 18 and wish I had, was my Ex provided me with a false sense of security. He was very much an alcoholic, a narcissist and manipulated everyone in his life. I couldn’t have fathomed he would create so much tension in my relationships with my children as he played victim and made me look like the monster. There were a lot of things I have had to learn to forgive and let go but in the end that was the only way I could save myself and have any shot of saving the relationship with my children. 

In 2020 I officially left my marriage, my home, and a lot more and moved in with my mom. That was the first step to my freedom and a new beginning. It was VERY Hard. I walked away from a relationship and marriage of 20 + years, my home and all the only me I had known. All I felt was numb with pain, for days, weeks, even months I cried, I was angry, and I was reckless with drinking and sex. I did ANYHTING I could stop the pain. It wasn’t until February of 2020 that I became very sick and was forced to slow down. God Intervention! It was the first time I took care of myself in a long time and rested, ate, and didn’t drink a lick. I came across a friend I hadn’t spoken to in decades. We started talking and next thing you know this man was on a plane from Florida to NY, where I lived, within 24 hours and stayed by my side through all my grief and healing, held me as I cried, loved me as I rebuilt and helped me believe in myself when I couldn’t. I was still drinking bad, a gallon of Tito’s every couple days. I lost my job and literally everything Identified with before I left my marriage at that point and was completely starting from scratch. In November 2020, I tried to jump out of a moving vehicle and kill myself I was so drunk, broken and lost. It was Thomas who picked me up, saved me and brought me to my mom’s where Intervention happened and within the next 48 hours, I was admitted into a Rehabilitation Center for my dinking. 

Now 2 ½ years later, I am still sober and living my best freaking life EVER. I have a beautiful home in Wilmington NC with Thomas and my son Elijah. 2023 has been the first time in a long time, that I feel settled and full of peace. I have worked on rebuilding my life for the last 3 years by working on healing myself and starting my life on the path that is best for ME, not anyone else.  I live life on purpose now! I have crafted a life that went from chaos and verbal abuse and mistreatment and very toxic to a life that is peaceful, full of love and that is something I have dreamed of and now I want to help you have that too. I know what it’s like, I’ve been where you are, and I can help you find the life you want! Take my hand and let’s walk together into what possible for you through Self-Love & Empowerment Coaching.